Why Humans Never Become Happy
That's Philosophical #13
Welcome to That’s Philosophical, a newsletter that genuinely hopes you are happy. Twice a week, I send you inspirational ideas to become a more mindful person in a world that can’t take a break.
You can read the web version here.
Here is a known fact: it is impossible to achieve long-term happiness. But even though most people know about this, we still get caught up in a “I will get this and then I will be happy” mindset. Yes, it works to get things done. But you are not allowing yourself to relax and live a life you get only once.
The human body is designed to keep our “happiness” on relatively the same level. This is called a hedonic treadmill.
It’s a tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively same level of happiness even after big positive or negative life changes or events. Here is an easier explanation:
“Some scholars compare human biochemistry to an air-conditioning system that keeps the temperature constant, come heatwave or snowstorm. Events might momentarily change the temperature, but the air-conditioning system always returns the temperature to the same set point.”
“Imagine that Lucy and Luke are middle-class twins, who agree to take part in a subjective well-being study. On the way back from the psychology laboratory, Lucy’s car is hit by a bus, leaving Lucy with a number of broken bones and a permanently lame leg.
Just as the rescue crew is cutting her out of the wreckage, the phone rings and Luke shouts that he has won the lottery’s $10,000,000 jackpot.
Two years later she’ll be limping and he’ll be a lot richer, but when the psychologist comes around for a follow-up study, they are both likely to give the same answers they did on the morning of that fateful day.”
Yuval Noah Harari - “Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind.”
The Contrast Makes Life Better
Our reaction to new things is heavily influenced by our past experiences. How you rate new activities is relative to your background, everyone experiences them differently.
It happens because our desires tend to grow as we discover new experiences. You will inevitably want something bigger, better, faster, cooler.
There is no such thing as eternal happiness or pleasure from a biological perspective. If there was, then we wouldn’t bother searching for food and maintaining our quality of life.
The times when you feel discontent or sadness give meaning to your life. These things show you the other side so you can embrace the times of pleasure.
“It’s the rainy days that give us love for the sun” - Nathan Feuerstein
There is Something You Can’t Buy
Remember not to fall into a consumeristic trap of buying happiness. It is only possible if you are living in very poor conditions. In this situation, money will make a difference.
But if you have a relatively normal quality of life, then you will quickly become disappointed with all the things you bought to fulfill something inside of yourself. Studies clearly show that our appetite will grow every time we buy something new. This means that even if we buy the most expensive car, it likely won’t be our last purchase. There is no end to this.
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”
―Jim Carrey
Our hearts are not healed with stuff, they are healed with people and experiences you can’t buy.
Yesterday I was in Dubai. The consumeristic culture of this city didn’t resonate with me at all. Money appears to be the sole most important thing there. Arab Emirates has an entirely different life outlook compared to the simple Swedish philosophy of Lagom I talked about a few weeks ago.
Giant shopping malls, expensive cars, luxury. How can you enjoy the little things with so much noise around you taking your attention?
As you walk in the city, all you say is “wow, how did they do that?”. I didn’t get any spiritual fulfillment at all. Even though there are thousands of people walking around you in these majestic architectural pieces of art, oddly, you don’t feel any connection to the things around you. It doesn’t feel human.
And this is exactly what I mean. It’s not possible to buy fulfillment, you get it from the things everybody can get. A correct mindset, appreciation, and people around.
Goals Steal Happiness
Because of the hedonic treadmill, there is no point in putting off your plans to live a happy life. At the end of the day, it’s the journey that matters. When you look back, do you regret the time spent to reach the goal?
That’s why it’s incredibly important to be mindful of the goals you set. What if you focused on the process- not where it will get you?
This approach removes our natural tendency to put off happiness for later. Instead, you get a system that you enjoy running every time you sit to work.
Here is a quick sketch I drew, it will explain the concept better. Sorry for my incredible handwriting.
Takeaway
Humans love to make everything straightforward. But life is not that easy. Here is what you can do to avoid a hedonic treadmill and become a bit happier:
Try to notice when you unintentionally set expectations linked to happiness. For me, the best way to live a happy and fulfilled life is to search for happiness in everyday things. When you learn to find beauty in the ordinary, suddenly you become happy and content with your life.
That’s Philosophical is all about taking a break, so let’s stop and notice the beauty around us. Every insignificant thing holds something beautiful within. Seek fulfillment in the simple stuff.
Thanks for reading, see you on Saturday!
This issue was sent out late because I am currently in 14-day hotel imprisonment in Singapore to enter the country. Hope I will get out sane.
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"For me, the best way to live a happy and fulfilled life is to search for happiness in everyday things." I have found this to be true!