A competitive world requires us to be the best at something. To be exceptional, we need to constantly improve and work harder.
Society has pressured us since school to be on top of our class. The ideal standard for a student is getting straight A’s, which is encouraged. Get an X number to get Y life. “It’s a cruel world, if you don’t work your hardest, capitalism will eat you”, we are told.
I took that for granted my whole life. I thought that the only good way to live was to have perfect scores and make as little mistakes as I could. Screw that. I hate the culture of always working your hardest. I don’t want to. And it’s not about laziness, it’s about priorities.
What’s the point?
What is your goal in life? When I was a kid I thought life was about fulfilling my full potential that will get me a well-paying job. I thought I needed to work my ass off all the time to use my abilities to the max. Up until my last years of school, when it came to choosing my major, I was encouraged to pick something that pays well. I was encouraged to get the highest grades possible.
But something was missing, I forgot that I had to enjoy it. I forgot I needed to have a school-life balance. I forgot that I have an identity outside of my studies. It was entirely up to me to work the amount I felt was enough, not the amount that was the highest possible.
I figured that if I worked my hardest right now and got into the best university, I would have to work really hard there too. So years of my life will be spent struggling to keep up with the level that wasn’t really mine. That level is the amount I overworked for. That means I will have to keep overworking just to keep that up. My level is not above my head. My level is just where I am comfortable.
I could have spent an extra 2 hours a day studying my subjects, sacrificing an hour of my sleep every day. Instead, I came home from school and took time to recharge and relax. I consciously made decisions where I knew I would get a worse result, but I would be more rested and know just enough for the test. I found the golden middle, where I was comfortable with my results, even if they weren’t my full potential.
Are we ever satisfied?
Our chemistry can tell us a lot about our desires. Hedonic treadmill is our tendency to return to a relatively stable level of happiness, despite changes in our circumstances. It acts like a climate control in our body that keeps the temperature (subjective well-being) levels the same. This means if we win a lottery, get a promotion, buy a new car, or maybe break a leg, after some time we will still have relatively the same subjective well-being as we used to before the incident.
This suggests that past a point of relative basic comfort, our happiness is the same, and we don’t get any long-term satisfaction over changing our lifestyle.
I see growth as the only motivator for most people to grow because it gives us a spike in our chemistry. It’s a nice feeling to make it, to be recognized in society, and earn more. But after some time, it’s not enough. The goals change to something even higher and we can’t stop. And that’s where the question comes in: What’s the point?
Swedish Lagom philosophy helps to find a healthy balance to be satisfied with enough, not more. Lagom encourages people to take a look at the simple things that make them happy. Instead of constantly expecting something bigger and better to make them happy if they work hard enough. With Lagom, happiness is already present. It just takes self-awareness to spot it and not fall into the trap of chasing after happiness/money just for the sake of it.
“Enough is as good as a feast”
- Swedish proverb.
Our goal is ‘more’
You may be familiar with the parable about the fisherman and an investment banker. The businessman comes up to a fisherman proposing a business opportunity to work harder:
“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman. “You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer. “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”
I love this story, it perfectly illustrates the way we approach success. The way we prioritize hard work for the sake of hard work disregards our real desires.
Building a business can be a great example of this. A lot of business owners realize the beauty of a small business after they begin to scale. They understand that scaling the business also meant scaling the expenses, time, and headaches. This is an example of finding a golden middle (which is a common trope in a lot of different philosophies). Some business owners are perfectly fine with a 5-employee company making a comfortable living, even if they could expand the business. For a lot of people, what’s the point if the business is already doing well enough?
Being self-aware enough to realize that further growth is not essential is how you find the golden spot. Not everything in life is supposed to always improve. Sometimes you can just chill to appreciate what you have, you don’t have to constantly strive for better.
“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.”
―Edward Abbey
I hope I can do just enough
I understood this mindset when I first came to Bali and realized how life can be. I realized how you can live without the constant race like in the big cities. This race for money consumes us and we forget about the actual living. Bali’s slow life taught me how materialism has changed my perspective on ‘success’. When you live on an island, you might not have the same quality of life that you would have in a modern city. You might have worse infrastructure and fewer opportunities. But life outside of a city gives you a glimpse into how life could be if money weren’t at the forefront. You can sacrifice comfort, earn less, give up career ladders, and still have a happy life. The point of living for me isn’t getting the highest wage to afford the most comfortable life. Sometimes a happy life can look the opposite: You can scale down your wants to afford a lifestyle where you prioritize slow, mindful living, over a money chase. Without sacrificing fulfilment and happiness.
After that trip, I knew I wanted to work just enough to be satisfied with my life. And this is not laziness, it’s a conscious choice to do less, in order to live more. All it takes is to try to forget about social status and focus on your actual well-being.
I have yet to enter the world of work, which is a bit scary, and I really want to keep the mindset I had in school. I know it will be hard and sometimes impossible, but that’s my goal. Not everyone can afford to find something they like, and the possibility of a ‘just enough’ lifestyle seems to be tied to the country you are in.
The Grind is praised in our world because, for a lot of people, that’s the only opportunity to make enough and sustain their needs. And in a society that wants to squeeze every drop of productivity out of you, it’s not always so straightforward.
Final Thoughts
No one likes to be average in a society where the grind and overachievement are praised. It takes a great deal of willpower and self-awareness to steer away from the common flow.
I don’t think that constant improvement is a sustainable goal. Success is different for everyone, but for me, success is peace of mind. That’s the intention with my lifestyle, which realistically looks really difficult to accomplish. That’s why I write this newsletter, to share my thoughts on slow living in a fast world. Taking a break can seem scary and not accepted when in reality, it can be liberating.
This philosophy is a good reminder to be conscious of your choices where you trade time or stress for money. It’s important to question yourself if that’s worth it or if your mindset of ‘more’ is controlling you. Sometimes, happiness can already be found in your life, without the need to chase anything.
Loved the message.
Also i like how you've made your substack look, its really pretty.
That's a healthy way of looking at life. I've recently finished a book titled The Good Enough Job by Simone Stolzoff, and the central idea was about understanding that hard work won't give us anything if we don't have a meaningful life outside of it. We work to live, not live to work.