A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skilled Sailor

How the difficult times shape who we are #52

By Austin Neill

This one is of those quotes that keeps me going through the difficult times. The sea is a manifestation of constant change, which is an integral part of our lives. You can learn a lot from it.

Human life is never linear and smooth all the time, but that’s how we want it to be. Nobody ever said they want their lives to be full of chaos and struggle, yet we face it every day. All we want is a calm day at the beach sipping cocktails. But we rarely get that. Even if we do, it doesn’t last long.

Turns out, a bunch of ancient philosophies all over the world have addressed this problem before. The conflict between us trying to rest and life throwing stuff at us is never-ending. The quote in the title of this article is what we can do about it. Try to get something out of the difficult times.

Nietzsche

Friedrich Nietzsche’s quote is a great representation of what we are talking about here:

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

Even when life may seem hard, this phrase should serve as a reminder that you are growing. It is hard to do this when you are stressed, but it helps to remember that anything, good or bad, happens for a good reason. Anything that you have ever gone through and every decision you have made has led you to this moment. It only made you a better sailor.

There isn’t much skill needed for when things are going well. Remember that you can only become skilful at something if you were there during the hard times and made it out. It is hard to see the growth when you are faced with difficulty. But you are getting better.

It’s easy to see that growth in others, though. I bet you’ve found yourself wondering how did someone get so successful, good at their craft, or rich so fast, almost overnight. However, it almost never happens that way. All we see is the tip of the iceberg of their hard work. There is no overnight success. The only way to get good at something is to face adversity. Continuously.

Taoism

Taoism has a great perspective on this. According to the philosophy, there is a certain natural flow of nature, and our job is to adapt to it and let that flow do its thing. Similarly to Stoicism, it encourages us to let go of the things that happen by themselves and not interfere with the natural flow of life. Just let it happen, try to be present, and embrace this flow (which is the hard part). This principle is called Wu Wei.

Wu Wei’s great lesson is to respect nature and its cycle. We are happy and satisfied when we don’t interfere with it. That’s called Effortless Living: not trying too hard to fight against the flow of the sea but flowing with it in harmony. Because some things are not meant to be an active pursuit.

Taoism can change your perspective on the tough times. It shows how resisting and wishing they didn’t happen will only make things harder. Instead, we could accept them, learn the lessons, and move on. Knowing that we will only get better thanks to these difficulties.

Stoicism

The stoic philosopher Seneca once said:

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

Stoicism teaches us to acknowledge the difference between perception and reality. There is a gap between what is actually happening and how we react to it. We love to dramatise and forget how our thoughts about the past and the future often don’t align with reality. Even when the reality has moved on, we often haven’t. In our heads, it’s still happening, and affecting who we are in the future. Any stressor is primarily happening inside your head, and the way you react to it is the way you perceive it. Seneca’s teachings could help you be more ok with the hard times and help you become a better sailor.

Stoicism has another great concept called Amor Fati. This mindset is about taking only the best from a situation. Similarly to Wu Wei, it’s all about accepting the situation and not suffering over something you can't control, embracing the idea that every experience, whether positive or negative, contributes to your growth. Amor Fati teaches us that every moment has to be embraced and not avoided, they all build who we are. Once again, a reminder of where good sailors come from.

I liked this concept while researching for this article, if you want, I cam write an issue all about Amor Fati! (If not, please let me know what you would like to see next on That’s Philosophical!)

Final Thoughts

It would be boring if life was all smooth. But we are wired to love comfort, we would rather not take any unnecessary risk and just stay safe to survive. However, if this was everything humans were, we would never get out of caves. Steve Jobs once said this about being fired from Apple:

“It was an awfully tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life is gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”

We are often taught to avoid failures and that makes us forget that they are the only way for us to grow. Don’t forget that what actually makes you skilled is the chaotic sea. Every second out of comfort is an opportunity to learn something, this quote is a precise example of that. You can never learn and grow if everything is always perfect.

I like to think of everything that happens to me in a positive frame. It really helps to find something good about the situation instead of being a prisoner of your negative thoughts and overthinking. Whatever happens to us, probably happens for a good reason, and will help you become a better captain of your ship.

If your life is a sea, you should become a good sailor. We can go deep into our comfort and refuse to take a risk, and while it will prevent a failure, you also won’t succeed. Good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

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Hey friends! Apologies for being away for so long.

It’s been a while, how have you been?

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Warmly,

Rufat